Next Time
by prin69
Summary: She'll do better, be better, next time... if the crew doesn't save her first.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: So don't own anything.**

**Rating: um, pg13 cause I think I cursed, and the theme of this.**

**Author: Secretly Porcelain/prin69.**

**Archive: if you want to, just please ask me first.**

**Season: um, after Tyr left but before Rhade came.**

**Spoilers: not really. Unless you didn't know Trance turns gold, then oops….**

**I'm in a bad mood. And yeah, that pretty much explains this. Reviews will be adored.**

**Next Time  
**

**XxXxXXXxxXXXxxXXXxxxXxxxXXxxXxXxxx**

"Next time, next time I will remember to say my prayers as a little girl." Beka said to herself as she walked about the Maru, sniffing and not even bothering to hold back her tears."

"Next time I will not fight with my brother, or whoever, and I will always say 'I love you' and never run away." She swallowed and closed a drawer, after putting away a shirt and finally having the room entirely clean.

"Next time I will say please and thank you and remember all my other manners. I will not be the cause of pain for people I love. I will not be the total failure I am now. I will be worth something. I will matter."

She walked around her bed and opened a box taking something out of it before closing the lid once again. She then walked over to the bad and sat down, took a deep breath to settle herself.

Staring at the metal band in her hand she spoke to it. "Next time, I'll be good enough for the men in my life, you'll see. He won't leave, or if he does he'll refuse to go without me."

"Next time, next time maybe she won't leave me. Maybe she'll love us and then daddy won't be so sad. Maybe I'll be such a good little girl that she'll have to stay."

Her conversation was interrupted by the sounds of banging on the hull of the Maru, and the voice of Trance, dulled somewhat by the metal between them. "And maybe next time if I still mess up I'll be sure to try and fix it when Trance isn't around."

She strained herself to try to hear what the golden girl was saying, and barely made out "Beka no, you don't understand, I need you, the universe needs you."

"Hmmm, you hear that?" She said to the piece of metal, "Apparently I'm needed. Who would have thought? But you know what, I don't need them. Not a single one. Sure, they may need me now, and next week even. I can pilot them, and I can back them up. But then what? Do they ever need me when we're not working? What's that? That's right, no, no they do not."

Her shaky laughter broke into the room as she set the band on her bed and went over to a table to pick something up. "You know, you know what?" She said turning back to the metal on bed. "I tried, I tried so damn hard. I mean, it was never enough for you was it? For anyone really. But you, you I thought, I thought." She sighed. "Nevermind, I don't know what I thought anymore."

She walked closer to the bed so that she was only a few steps away. "But that doesn't matter now does it? You're gone, and I'm alone. And none of them really need me anyway. My mom never did. My dad, well, he's gone too. Raif will be fine without me. And the crew will get along just fine, hah, they probably won't even notice that I'm gone. At least not until they need the Maru for something, they can just toss me out an airlock then, can't they?" she laughed once again, but it came out so sad sounding.

She sighed, "Oh well, that's life for you, or at least mine anyway."

She raised the gun to her body, "But not next time, no, my next life will be different."

A bang sounded out in the bedroom just as Trance came racing in the door. And lying on the bed was a shiny metal band, glistening with fresh blood.

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**Anyone want to take guesses as to what the metal band was, who it was from, and who she was referring to? And remember, reviews are slices of heaven on earth, so review away!**


	2. Chapter 2

Um, review please?

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"Beka, NO!"

Realities flashed across her vision, crashing into each other and dissolving forever.

"One...two...three...breath!" The golden girl breathed air into the still body on the floor with her blonde hair fallen across her face, lips parted, and blood streaming into tiny rivers on the rug. Trance pumped Beka's chest, shaking with fear, frantic to see any sign of life.

"Andromeda!" She waited but no answer came as she still tried to make Beka breathe. "Damnit Andromeda, I know you can hear me! One...two...three...Beka come on. I need help, somebody, help me please..."

With dawning horror she realized Beka must have engaged privacy mode and there was no way she could get help without leaving Beka. And if she left, the small possibility of her friend making it was diminished to nothing.

Ripping sheets off of the bed, she pressed them into the wound, hoping to stop the rapid flow of blood. The sheet quickly stained a deep crimson red, and Trances sobs echoed across the room.

"Andromeda!"

A tiny movement on the floor caught her attention. Beka's fingers twitched slightly and as Trance looked to her face she saw the smallest movement of Beka's eyes beneath her lids, almost as if she were dreaming. "Hold on, Beka. Come on, you can do it!"

"Trance?"

From her kneeling position on the floor she twisted her upper half around. "Rommie, in here! Quick, I need you to send drones down with a stretcher, and have Med Deck cleared and prepped."

"Why? What's going on? My other self has informed me of erratic heartbeats. Is everything alri--"

But as she entered the room her voice trailed off. Rommie rushed to her first officer where she was lying on the floor. "What happened, Trance?" Anger coursed through her senses as the desire to find and kill whoever did this threatened to take her over.

Trances meek voice came, "She did it to herself."

Startled, Rommie looked up, but the face Trance was making coupled with the weak heartbeat of Beka told her she could ask questions later.

"Andromeda, disengage privacy mode. Trance, you go ahead to Med Deck and get what you need ready. I'm sending bots down now to assist me in moving the patient."

Trance was out the door before Rommie had even finished talking.

Looking down Rommie placed her hand across the wound to try to help stop the blood. With her other hand she wiped hair off of the closed blue eyes.

"Beka, what have you done?"


	3. Chapter 3

**POV: Andromeda's main AI. Third person.**

**Next Time  
Chapter 3**

**XxXxXxXxXx**

The body was loosing too much blood.

Chance of survival 26 percent.

While her drones were moving it to Med Bay it did not seem as if the body would make it. She would not tell the Medic or the Captain that survival did not seem likely as a courtesy. She knew this particular organic held special meaning to them. And if she looked into her processors she would allow herself to think that it meant something to her as well. After all, this organic had piloted her out of several precarious situations. Any other body lying on the gurney, and she would have been less careful with it.

Though these precautions may seem to not exist to the untrained eye. Four bots carried the gurney. All set at the same pace. They walked as fast as they could go without causing the gurney holding the organic to bump. That would be anti-productive.

She ordered her processors to send a fifth drone down at top speed from medical to intercept the route of the gurney. This fifth drone helped the Medic with certain procedures and would be able to administer extra nano-bots to the body of the patient.

Could an organic who hurt itself be called a victim? She would have to check her processors later.

The fifth drone intercepted the gurney and a syringe injected more nanos into the failing system.

Chance of survival 31 percent.

A metal clamp came down to hold upon the wound. It pressed down tightly. She registered this and with something the organics aboard her call annoyance she send a message to the drone to be gentle or she would destroy it.

Was that irritation she felt? She would have to run diagnostics earlier. Critical condition of an organic was nothing to fret over.

They come and go. She remains. One human life means nothing.

The gurney entered medical and the bots placed it atop a table as Trance turned to the body and began hooking cords to it. A steady stream of red liquid entered the body.

She registered, by going into the medical machines, that the patient was improving slightly.

Chance of survival 38 percent.

Trance moved about the body working as fast she could move. Drones and a young organic, new, moved about with her.

Outside of medical the rest of the senior crew waited. She noticed with slight anger that one of them seemed to be taking out anger by punching her wall.

Trance must be adept in what she does as survival jumped to 49 percent.

She would have to get a new pilot of this one did not survive. That would be a problem. Not many life forms of this time were properly skilled. And the ones that were she wasn't sure if she wanted aboard her.

Chance of survival down to 43 percent.

The body appeared to still be loosing too much blood.

The Captain may need to be sedated. He is overly upset. My AI is not pleased with me. Perhaps she wishes for me to be as emotional as her. She can not think properly at the moment. I have closed her from some of my functions. I will not allow her to make a critical mistake in her grief.

Chance of survival 46 percent.

The heartbeat is still moving too slow. The rhythm is not rapid enough to pump the blood. A machine is now doing that for it.

Chance of survival 49 percent.

The wound is closed.

Chance of survival 53 percent.

Trance is using IV's to pump nutrients into the system to keep it healthy so it can fight off any germs that may have entered the body. The tube pushing blood into it's veins is taken out. As much blood as could be replenished has already entered.

Chance of survival 57 percent.

She'll have to get her crew counseling. Even though the pilot seems to be making it she may die anyway. And humans have a need to discuss traumatic incidents. If the pilot lives she will need counseling as well. The Captain will have to order her off duty. She'll need a replacement.

Chance of survival 57.6 percent.

The organic is not improving anymore. She may still this way for a while. Harper is manually opening doors to Med Bay.

She will process the situation later.

The Captain is asking questions.

He needs sole focus.


	4. Chapter 4

He stared down at the body.

She was so quiet, so unmoving. It if weren't for Trance's reassurance Dylan would have thought that she were dead. How did he let this happen? He was supposed to look after her. Protect her. Be a friend and love her. How could he not have seen what was going on?

"I let you down." He sighed and reached out to take her hand in his.

Dylan stared down at her, until his eyes began to blur and he had to blink and look away. She was so still, so pale.

His Beka was always moving and talking. Or laughing and smiling, or threatening him, or teasing Harper. But she was always in motion. She probably tossed and turned in her sleep.

It hurt him, to see her there. So small and fragile. It was wrong. He felt it should be him on the brink of death. She didn't deserve this.

Dylan brushed her hair back and smoothed it into place.

It was weird, but he couldn't stop the laughter from coming out. All he could remember were all the stupid fights they ever had. Right from the start they argued. From who was in charge all the way down to who could make a better grilled cheese. And the thought that he would never get to rile her up again, or that she would never try to make him laugh during a diplomatic meeting, seemed too bizarre to be real.

It was impossible. She wasn't leaving. She couldn't. He needed her. She had to know that, she had to realize how selfish she was in trying to do this.

And then Dylan hated himself. This wasn't about what he needed. It was about what she needed, and the fact that he wasn't there before to give it to her.

"Beka, I am so sorry that I've done this to you. But when you get better, I promise, I'm going to make it up to you."

His only response was a sudden erratic beeping from the machines.


	5. Chapter 5

Pain racked her body.

_Is this what death feels like?_

No. She could hear voices Trance, Dylan, and…Harper?

_No, Harper, no. Please don't be here. Don't see this!_

She tries to tell Trance to make him go away but her eyes are too heavy, and there's not enough air to get the words out.

There's a pain in her chest and from her small knowledge of medical care she knows her heart is failing and Trance is trying to get the beat to normal.

She briefly wonders what she was thinking in trying to kill herself.

Then…nothing. It's as if she's aware of all that's going on around her but not taking part of it. She looks down at her friends and feels sorrow for them.

_I didn't want to hurt them._

Trance is making last attempts to get the heartbeat from slowing to a stop, tears falling down her face. The screens showing that nothing she is doing is working.

_I'm dying, Trance. Just let me go._

Dylan is standing close to the other side of the bed, hands clenched in fists by his side. His jaw is taut and eyes watery.

_Oh Dylan, you couldn't have stopped this. You know I always did what I wanted regardless of what you said._

Rommie is standing a few feet from the bed. A blank look on her face, an arm around Harper. Harper, who looks so afraid.

_Rommie, you know don't you? You've accepted that I'm gone. And Harper, I… I'm so sorry. I never meant to leave you._

She is jolted back to the real world, to pain, one last time, as she feels something ripple across her body.

_I love you, it's okay._

The blackness starts to fade in again.

_I think I'm going to be okay now._

_**XxXxXxXxXx**_

"Oh, she's beautiful."

"Yes she is. What are you going to call her?"

"Rebecca, after her father's mother."

"It's a lovely name."

"Yes, and for such a lovely little girl. Look at her red curls! Oh, have you ever seen a baby as cute as her? Oh I'm sorry, you do this all the time, of course you have."

"It's all right, I understand. The first girl is always a special thing to a mother."

"Yes, it does seem special."

"Would you like me to bring in the father and the big brother now?"

"No. Well yes, I just. Is it selfish I'd like a moment longer with her all alone? I have the feeling she'll be a daddy's girl and I'd like to always have the memory of being alone with her in her first few moments."

"That's fine, Talia. I understand. I'll inform them of you and the Rebecca's good health, and then bring them in."

"Thank you."

"Of course."

"Oh, and Trance?"

"Yes?"

"I must admit I was worried by your young age. I'm sorry I misjudged you."

"It's okay, I've heard it hundreds of times before."


End file.
